One-Armed Domestic Goddess on Turkey Day!

So...I didn't let my stupid shoulder get in the way of myself and David celebrating our first T-day living together. And while I'm now on the couch hyped on my pain killers, anti-inflam pills and icing my shoulder...it was worth it. We had a great dinner and I have enough food to feed us for the next week at least!

I got up early and spent all day cooking and cleaning..and even took pictures to commemorate this special say for us (excuse how crappy I look ^_^!)


My right arm is the busted one...I took it out of the sling to eat and stuff. I'm suppose to keep it off at home, but my arm feels like a weight attached to the side of my body so I tend to wear it a lot at home...but it would look crappy in the pictures :-p











































































































































I'm thankful for more than I can say. I may not have a ton of friends, but the few that I have are supportive and loving. And David is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me considering all the crappy shit I've survived.

Life's been sending a lot of shit my way...but so far I'm coming out on top. I hope everyone else had a good holiday and remembers that no matter what, we can always be thankful that tomorrow is another day.

Love love.

So much to do...so little time and energy

Due immediately after or soon after the break are:

THTR 272:
3D rake and portal design
Groundplan, Centerline Section, Front Elevation
Furniture Detail drafting and Build Drawings (hopefully not for the whole damn set)
THTR 386:
Light Plot including all paperwork and design process
THTR 375:
6+ page essay due-compare contrast
Purpose Essay for Grad School App.
Finished Resume
THTR 379:
Finished front elevation with paint elevation

Luckily I've gotten a start on all of these things, but it's Wednesday already, my shoulder is killing me and I still have a lot of work left to go.

I'm also going to somehow manage to make Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow one armed....I see this going smoothly...
It'll be the first Thanksgiving Dinner I've ever baked and it'll be the first Thanksgiving David and I share together living together. I'm a little bit nervous...I'll be cooking and cleaning all day tomorrow. Plus I'll have to fit in a shower and a chance to change into nice clothes and all that jazz. I'm a nerd and want to make it special.

Still trying to convince David we should get a kitten for Christmas. Lacy really needs a companion and we don't have room for another dog. Lacy is still young enough to introduce her to a kitten and raise them together though. It'd be good for Lacy and for me who needs things to smother with attention and love :-) I get all warm and fuzzy inside just thinking about that soft cuddly little kitten body. And I laugh imagining it chasing after Lacy's tail as it wags ten miles a minute.

If anyone wants a place to go for dinner tomorrow, give me a call. You're all welcome.

Happy Soon to be Turkey Day.

Suffering a crisis in confidence...

So much going on in my head with very few places to vent and very few ways to reassure myself. It's a sad sad thing, but being out with my shoulder again brings the last time this all happened right to the front of my memory. And the last time was pure hell in ways I can't describe. 6 months of misery, depression, loneliness and the loss of many friends who were never really friends. A rude awakening and a crushing slap in the face of reality at the same time. While things are different this time, it's hard to not want to fall back into that same patters of depression and anger.

Even with all the support David is offering and how wonderful he's been, it's hard when you're home alone most of the time. understand most of my friends are crazy busy, but it'd still be nice to hear from them every now and then. I don't see most of them unless I'm at work, and since that's not happening right now...well...yeah. As I mentioned, a crisis of confidence. I know they all care, but its hard to not remember all the times I'm not invited to join along or asked to go out with everyone because they forgot. Makes me think it's all the easier to be forgotten now that I'm really not around at all. Pathetic.

Even so, it is somewhat upsetting when you realize you really need your friends around by they don't have the time. And while it's all completely understandable, it's easy to be irrational when you're suffering from cabin fever, high amounts of pain and a complete lack of patience for anything. Add the fact that I'm starting to doubt my own ability to do what I want to do for the rest of my life, and I'm just having a tough time at it all. Rationality and sanity are not too high on my list right now lately, apparently.

And will someone please convince David that getting me a kitten for Christmas would be a great idea?

So what do you do when everything seems to be crumbling? And how to reconcile the fact that I feel guilty even feeling this way. David has been so amazing. He's offered me all the love and support I need right now, and yet sometimes it's not just enough. I need my friends too. It's a tough spot, and in my situation its difficult to avoid being angry and upset about the world in general.

So hopefully all of this is over sooner rather than later. Not sure if I can handle to much more of this mental stress. It's beginning to take it's toll.

Love to all.

Slice and Dice...

So for those that are or were curious, I saw the Doctor today, and as soon as my school finals are over I'll be going in for surgery on my shoulder.

I'm more than a little nervous, but I've been told it's for the best, so here's to a good outcome.

Hopefully friends will come see me while i'm out. I really do miss everyone.

-Sio-